The Art of Communication
Communication is the conduit to allowing us to inner act with the world around us, but it seems that communication is the most talked about and least understood area of human behavior. Our ability to communicate in so many modes is unique to each of us individually. Even with though the loss of one or two senses certainly can impair communication, it does not have to stop communication. Effective communication is rarely taught and even more rarely learned in our society. What follows is quick overview of a few of the many keys to mastering the art of communication and superior communication skills are unquestionably vital in every area of our lives.
Interpersonal communication includes at least the following elements:
1. A transmitter- Someone who wants to "send" a message verbally or non-verbally to someone else.
2. A receiver- Someone who will "receive" a message from another person.
3. A message- Information in some form.
4. Noise- Anything that interferes or causes the deletion, distortion or generalization of the exact replication of information being transmitted from the mind of the transmitter to the mind of the receiver.
5. Feedback- Both the sender and receiver constantly elicit verbal and nonverbal feedback to the other person.
6. Replication- The duplication of understanding in one person that is in the mind of another person. Replication is an approximate goal and philosophically not perfectly possible, though desired.
7. Understanding- An approximation of what the message means to the sender by the receiver.
Communication is the ability to transmit a message by the sender to a receiver and have that message replicated in the receiver's mind. If the receiver is uncertain about some aspect of a communication, it is the responsibility of the receiver to clarify the communication through the artful use of questions. The transmitting communicator also accepts the responsibility for the result of a communication. This means the transmitter should be mindful to communicate so it is received in a manner that is understandable to the receiver.
Although compassionate communication is vital to our emotional well being and to our very existence, the art of communication is one of the most difficult arts to master in life, because it is the art of being aware of yourself and your own feelings. We communicate with each other via our words, our emotions, our facial gestures, body language, and our actions. Most of our communication is non-verbal. We take our cue about the meaning of another's communication only 7% from their words, and 93% from their tone of voice. As we know, when speaking to an animal, what we say doesn't matter; what registers and is responded to is the tone.
There are 4 basic styles of communication:
1. Aggressive- Often people think that they are responding assertively when they are actually being aggressive. These personalities come on too strong and their energy bombards or pushes at people. Because of life experiences, they are full of hurt, anger, and resentment. They all too often lash out at others or overly defend issues. The aggressive response tends to evoke aggression in others and make the aggressive communicator even more out of control, which further alienates them from others. To be in control is a dominant need for them. Then they feel safe: if they control or push others away, then no one can hurt them.
2. Passive- Passive communicators tend to appear weak and self conscious. Deep down they feel insecure and may experience self doubt. They let themselves get pushed around and say "I'm sorry" for things they didn't do. They radiate a sense of wanting to speak up, but they don't, so there is a feeling around them of unspoken expectations and unmet needs. Being passive perpetuates the cycle of negative thinking and doubt toward oneself.
3. Passive Aggressive- They will say one thing to your face and another behind your back. This is the most insidious of the styles because it is harder to confront and subtler than the other two styles mentioned. They deny responsibility: "I was just joking." Trust is non-existent and these people feed on negativity and gossip. They act in this way to achieve a pseudo sense of control. They find if they can subtly defame another, they are somehow achieving a victory for themselves and they think then that they will look (or feel) better than another.
4. Assertive- The top of communicators. Their communications are compassionate in their delivery. It is the ability to relay a clear message without blaming, shaming, criticism, or insinuating for the most part. They are compassionate listeners. Compassionate listening requires a deep connection that goes beyond the person's words.
Communicating does have its challenges, but it is something that must be mastered if we are going to be heard and understood. Take time to work on your own communication skills and you will be surprised at how you are more aware of what you say and listen better to what someone else is saying too.
Interpersonal communication includes at least the following elements:
1. A transmitter- Someone who wants to "send" a message verbally or non-verbally to someone else.
2. A receiver- Someone who will "receive" a message from another person.
3. A message- Information in some form.
4. Noise- Anything that interferes or causes the deletion, distortion or generalization of the exact replication of information being transmitted from the mind of the transmitter to the mind of the receiver.
5. Feedback- Both the sender and receiver constantly elicit verbal and nonverbal feedback to the other person.
6. Replication- The duplication of understanding in one person that is in the mind of another person. Replication is an approximate goal and philosophically not perfectly possible, though desired.
7. Understanding- An approximation of what the message means to the sender by the receiver.
Communication is the ability to transmit a message by the sender to a receiver and have that message replicated in the receiver's mind. If the receiver is uncertain about some aspect of a communication, it is the responsibility of the receiver to clarify the communication through the artful use of questions. The transmitting communicator also accepts the responsibility for the result of a communication. This means the transmitter should be mindful to communicate so it is received in a manner that is understandable to the receiver.
Although compassionate communication is vital to our emotional well being and to our very existence, the art of communication is one of the most difficult arts to master in life, because it is the art of being aware of yourself and your own feelings. We communicate with each other via our words, our emotions, our facial gestures, body language, and our actions. Most of our communication is non-verbal. We take our cue about the meaning of another's communication only 7% from their words, and 93% from their tone of voice. As we know, when speaking to an animal, what we say doesn't matter; what registers and is responded to is the tone.
There are 4 basic styles of communication:
1. Aggressive- Often people think that they are responding assertively when they are actually being aggressive. These personalities come on too strong and their energy bombards or pushes at people. Because of life experiences, they are full of hurt, anger, and resentment. They all too often lash out at others or overly defend issues. The aggressive response tends to evoke aggression in others and make the aggressive communicator even more out of control, which further alienates them from others. To be in control is a dominant need for them. Then they feel safe: if they control or push others away, then no one can hurt them.
2. Passive- Passive communicators tend to appear weak and self conscious. Deep down they feel insecure and may experience self doubt. They let themselves get pushed around and say "I'm sorry" for things they didn't do. They radiate a sense of wanting to speak up, but they don't, so there is a feeling around them of unspoken expectations and unmet needs. Being passive perpetuates the cycle of negative thinking and doubt toward oneself.
3. Passive Aggressive- They will say one thing to your face and another behind your back. This is the most insidious of the styles because it is harder to confront and subtler than the other two styles mentioned. They deny responsibility: "I was just joking." Trust is non-existent and these people feed on negativity and gossip. They act in this way to achieve a pseudo sense of control. They find if they can subtly defame another, they are somehow achieving a victory for themselves and they think then that they will look (or feel) better than another.
4. Assertive- The top of communicators. Their communications are compassionate in their delivery. It is the ability to relay a clear message without blaming, shaming, criticism, or insinuating for the most part. They are compassionate listeners. Compassionate listening requires a deep connection that goes beyond the person's words.
Communicating does have its challenges, but it is something that must be mastered if we are going to be heard and understood. Take time to work on your own communication skills and you will be surprised at how you are more aware of what you say and listen better to what someone else is saying too.
Add a Comment
© 2009 Created by Grant R. Nieddu on Ning. Create a Ning Network!
You need to be a member of SuccessFit to add comments!
Join this Ning Network